FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.
STATS: Walked 16,7km (10.5 miles) Spent €17.45 (Accommodation – €7, Food – €10.45)
10:30am – I am sitting in a river near a quaint little bridge and have just breakfasted/lunched on a small piece of baguette with cream cheese and an apple. I had pasta for dinner last night, so much cars and wheat, but I am doing fine. It is all the exercise. I am still walking in my sandals. My right baby toes is in agony, butt muscles making it almost impossible to walk at more than a stagger – but other than that I am doing great. The sun is warm on my body, I have sunscreen on my face, but already I have given up lotion on my arms. Don’t really need it – and I hate sunscreen. The sun is lovely and not too hot. Not at all like southern hemisphere sun that my skin knows well. This is baking sun not frying sun. I adore it. I could live this life forever.
This morning while walking – well I set off with Matthias, after spending the night in the apartment type hotel, I really did feel like we were a married couple for 20 years. It was divine, surreal. When we were going to sleep I started to talk to him about karma, and past lives because he asked. And I think I blew his head off a little. I glimpsed at my ministry and that of living my truth and sharing my truth as I see it. Matthias left me in the morning – he went on ahead because he had to get to Pamplona today. When we walked I told him about how I could hear the trees whispering to me. And he told me he wanted to hear that too. It is hard to describe – in some parts where we walk there are so many many many millions of trees on the hills and little mountain things around us and it is like they are not viewed very often so there is a crispness and potency about them and they sing/whisper to me or my soul or something and I hear it. I told him and I think he got it.
In the time of walking you get a many opportunities to think a lot. I have had this idea to open a poetry book cafe in Byron Bay – to create the same feel of the camino – the spirit seekers and wanderers, and I would be able to meet new and interesting people everyday. I could close the shop in the winter and come and do the Camino each year. I love this life. And I think of Jason (name changed to protect his identity) and how I trust that he will not stop the flow of us – I want nothing more in the physical world than to go and be with him.
I thought a lot about St Teresa of Avila today, and my understanding was that she chose the nunnery because she didn’t want to be a wife and mother. And I don’t know why that is so important for me today, but it is this idea that I would prefer to be a mother than be a saviour like Mahtma Gandhi – more like Mary Jennings (my best friend in childhoods’ mother) It sounds weird but the simplicity and the ease of being an ordinary mother and serving in that way is appealing to me greatly – so light ahead.
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Wow – the afternoon was heinous! The last ten minutes before arriving in Arres were agony. I walked most of the day alone. I met this Irish guy and I guess we conversed however the agony in my hips was all I could focus on. As we came into the town I thought that it was not Arres, and I wondered what I would do. I thought I would not be able to take another step. I managed to stumble to the albergue (hostel) and dropped my bag. It was only 12:15pm and the albergue only opened at 2pm and I needed to …have a bowel movement…. ok I will just say it pooh. So I could not walk and I needed to pooh. So here I am fighting the drive to want to never take another step in my life in fear of sheer agony, and my tummy telling me I really gotta go. So I didn’t care, I took my valuables from my bag, and just left it there at the albergue and hobbled into town. I had to. No other choice really.
And spirit helped me. Small miracles. What I learned today is that this pilgrimage is simply a confirmation that I have a blessed life. It is like how much more do I have to do or experience or test so that I can finally realiase that I live in a dimension of ease, grace and blessings? That was today, yes, my body was wracked with agony – it is like that, and then you can see the blessings.
So I was getting desperate for the loo, and could not see any public places or restaurants. Also Spanish towns are dead by day, so there was no one about. There was however a street sweeper so I stumbled up to him and in my best Spanish asked if there were bathrooms around. And I am not an idiot I could not see any facility anywhere close that would have a bathroom, but I was praying fervently because I knew my legs weren’t going to carry me much further. In shock he politely pointed directly across from us. I turned to see a door into one of the buildings. It turns out that behind this ornate historic door was a public library and social center type thing. I was so happy but didn’t get too excited knowing that until I actually saw the toilet bowl, I need to keep under control. I could not afford to send mixed messages to my bowels, knowing my hips would be unable to run if that was required. Although you never actually know, but honestly I wasn’t up for the challenge.
I shuffled across the road and within seconds was settled gratefully on the spanking white toilet seat. And I cried not only from relief, but that I had been praying for just any toilet, and here I was in this spotless, clean, civilized normal bathroom, with little hand towels and ornate soap holders. It was a precious miracle.
I stumbled back to the albergue, only to be greeted by the hospitelero (this is the name given to the people who run the albergue’s – mostly they are volunteers, that come from around the world for a couple of weeks at a time, to give back – others run the places full time) He had found my bag and was waiting for me. I was so grateful, even though it was way before 2pm, he ushered me in and let me pick any bed I wanted. I showered, washed my clothes and hung them out to dry and crashed on my bed – bottom bunk.
Woke up, attended to my blisters and was amazed at how my body had recovered so quickly. Some older Austrian ladies came in, and there was only a top bunk left. This woman looked like she was in worse shape than me, but somehow she made it to the top bunk, and crashed out. When she woke up she was moaning – like serious agony. When she got off her top bunk, I offered to swap beds with her. I knew I could hardly move and was f’cked but at least I didn’t feel like this and have another 40 years on me. She seriously was in her 60′s or 70′s. So I swapped with her. And for the rest of the day, each time I went near her or her friends there were murmurs of gratitude and wonder that I would do that, even though I was in such bad shape. But hey, what I was I supposed to do.
Went into town and had another disgusting pellegrino dinner. I don’t want to sound ungrateful but seriously, pasta for a starters, with a side of bread, deep-fried whatever, chips, and ice-cream for dessert. I think this is the last one of these I will have. I sat with a man who spoke shocking English and I spoke shocking Spanish. It was an interesting night. Afterwards I stumbled into this amazing live acrobatics show…then met another Irish man who was very cute. We went to the river to bathe our glowing and blistered feet. His name was Niall. I wrote a poem for him and put it on his pillow when I went to bed. God Bless Him.
Go to next day: day 4 arres-to-cezor menur via Pamplona
Go to previous day: day 2 – roncesvalles-zubiri
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S Skates
1 year ago
So, I have to ask… do you have to wear the sandles? Is there some significance to them? For some reason, sturdy walking shoes would seem more practical to me… and by the way… I love that line… blew his head off in a way… it makes me giggle and chuckle and wonder a bit, too… in the US, we say, someone blew my mind – which I think is what you are saying… to blow someone’s head, well, that might mean something entirely different!
Amy Rothschild
1 year ago
Tamsin you are REALLY an AMAZING person.
I’m inspired by your inner strength and delightfulness!
I love you and am so Proud of you!
xxx
Nicole Tenaglia
1 year ago
Wow Tam. Love how this all unfolded. I agree with Amy – your inner strength and delightfulness is genuinely inspiring. Waiting for day 4…xo
Bianca
1 year ago
I’m in love with the magic…miracles and life. God bless you
admin
1 year ago
RESPONSE TO S SKATES Trust me, there was no head blowing, except for the consciousness altering type, I could hardly even walk never mind get down on my….well I think you get the picture….as for foot wear, you don’t actually need as sturdy foot wear as you think. I good pair of sneakers will do the trick. The aim of the game is just to not get blisters, which is usually achieved by walking in your old comfy shoes – but bearing in mind they have to be strong enough to cover 800 kms. Some crazy people walk in thongs (of the foot wear variety, not the US underwear variety, – I know that would be your next question!) I took my boots and sandals. Boots for long day walking, and sandals for the nights to walk around the towns. But after my blisters I could not put my boots on hence donning the sandals for like 5 days, while carrying my 1,5kg boots! Another big objective is keeping your feet dry – because if they get wet in the shoes that is what causes blisters. I would have liked to walk in my sandals all the time and dump my $300 boots, but I was afraid of rain….but I can’t say too much about that you will have to follow and see what happens!
admin
1 year ago
RESPONSE TO AMY Thanks little lamb, behind every great sister is a great sister! hee..hee…
admin
1 year ago
RESPONSE TO BIANCA I am glad to hear it. what a beautiful and cherishing place to be.
day 4 arres-to-cezor menur via Pamplona
1 year ago
[...] go to previous day: day 3 -zubiri-to-arres [...]
Mum
1 year ago
Thank you for allowing me to find a new way first thing in the morning to open my heart to bursting point. The pulse I feel throughout my whole body as I read these entries feels like my blood has turned to honey running through my veins. What a great way to start my day. I love you darling.You are such a blessing to me…….
Matthias from Germany
1 year ago
Hey Tamsin,
yes, I finally heard the trees whisper to me! Do you remember the little chestnut forest on the “Camino Duro”, just after walking over the top of the mountain? I took a long break there, just sitting down, meditating. And that was the moment time and space just seemed to “vanish” and I felt everything arund me! And I heard the trees whisper!!
Really love to read your memories! I should put up mine too, never want to forget about this wonderful experience!!
Greetings from Cologne,
Matthias
tamsinpoet
1 year ago
RESPONSE TO MUM Thanks Mumma, I love writing and reminiscing on all of this – it is a gift to me too…
tamsinpoet
1 year ago
RESPONSE TO MATTHIAS FROM GERMANY Hello – What a delight to have you read and see all of my thoughts on those precious days. I hope what I wrote didn’t embarrass you, and if you want me to edit it let me know. I was so touched with what you wrote. I remember thinking of you often on those last few days, and it was very warming to me to know that you had tread that path almost like in preparation for me. I remember the chestnut grove well, I was walking with my mum at the time and it was her favourite place. Do the trees still whisper to you?
S Skates
1 year ago
I’ve heard about thongs before – as a term for flip-flops! Thanks for letting me know about the shoes – I wasn’t sure if it was a pilmgim thing. I’m totally addicted to your blog… I have to check back over the days and re-read the comments, too. This is such an adventure for me, since my day-to-day adventures tend to be quite ordinary and amazing in their own way… each moment a blessing, and each moment an opportunity for loving and awareness. I am blessed and grateful to share these blessings with you and experience your blessings as I read your journal. I am really enjoying your prose as well! It’s like we’re talking on the phone and you are telling me all about it – it feels intimate – and I’m claiming the camino as mine, too, through you. I love you, you know…
tamsinpoet
1 year ago
Thanks Sina, you have always been very dear to my heart, and not only because you let me hold your 3 hour old baby, which I might tell you is still one of the highlights of my life. Did you see that Matthias posted a comment? I am so touched that he came here, to share this journey again with me. I too am enjoying the process of comparing my own ‘ordinary’ day to day life, to what I was doing this time last year. A few days ago I was complaining to Amy (my younger sister) about what a crappy day I was having and she said to me, “hey at least you can walk! This time last year you couldn’t even do that!” It was a cool and sharp reminder again of all the blessings we take for granted!
S Skates
1 year ago
I am upgrading my addictions to God, and this blog applies… I am holding a sleeping baby in my arm as I write this… But now our youngest who’s 16 months old. I don’t remember that you were there, since I was recovering from the anesthesia and the morphine from the c-section, I only know that you tell me you were there. I am so glad that you were there to hold my angel and hold us all in the light. I think I said things to you, too, but I don’t remember what they might have been. I feel like you are my soul-sister, and things that you do, I do through you… and I hope that maybe you have some of me, too… but, I guess, take only the good parts, whatever that means!
I am following the comments, and yes, I saw the post from Matthias. You are a powerful co-creator. 40 days… it’s a bit like lent… what can I sacrifice to be closer to God while I read this blog? I choose thinking about the future, instead, I’m going to focus on the present that is now! LL SS