FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 7kms (4.3 miles)

I completed the Camino de Santiago today and am now lying in bed in a hostel in Finisterre. I feel well, a little weary and perhaps a little shell shocked and quiet and very contented.

As we left San Marcos early this morning, and made our way down the hill into Santiago I was very tearful, mainly just overcome with the reality of each footstep I took now culminating in my arrival. It was a lot. Truly Beyond Words. The photos we took of me this moring, I love. They are not the best pictures but I can see something different in myself, a peace and weary calm which I cherish now.

It was a lovely walk with mum and such a wonderful feeling when we got there. I was very happy and in high Spirits. The irony of walking through this profound rite of passage almost and then entering this town, where for each of these residents it is just another busy day, and yet such a remarkable and profound day for so many of us. And this continues day after day. There were very narrow side walks so it ws very hustly ad bustly, but lots of fun. I bumped into many many friends which I had not seen in weeks. It was really awesome. Many pilgirms stay in Santiago for a couple of days to catch all of their friends. I was hoping to catch up with Milton and Michael. The destination in Santiago is the Church so we followed the pilgrims in that general directiion. Along the way there was a group of men with their raincoats on. They were running amuck spraying water on each other. They, like me, had not encountered any rain, and wanted to use their rain coats at least once. It was a lot of fun. We then entered the church area and it was spectacular. And filled with many pilgrims standing and just taking it all in. Ironically about 5 minutes after we got there Luis came in, which was so cool. He had walked all night to get here today, so he was shattered. It was awesome to share this with him.

After many photos and lots of fun, we made our way to the Pellegrino office to recieve our certificates. They checked all my little stamps in my Pellegrino Passaporte to verify I had walked more than 100 km’s. I got my certificate! Yay! trundled it up safely in my bag, and then ambled aorund the town. It is customary to go to the noon service to officially be cleansed of your sins, and the reason why the pilgrims make the journey in the first place. Mum and I decided to postpone the service until we came back from our trip to Finisterre. It mainly was a decision becasue of logistics and bus schedules.

The shops were awesome, particularly this amazing chocolate shop. We stocked up, and then boarded the bus to Finisterre. The trip itself was horrendous as the bus tore around these windy coastal roads, but the views were spectacular, just breathtaking. I felt very sick. Finisterre itself is completely mind-blowingly amazing. It is so gorgeous, this quaint little fishing village. We will be here for 2 days. I am so happy.

We had an early dinner and are now in bed. I feel very peaceful and happy. And while a lot of my decisions are not resolved, and nothing is really different, I feel so much in the centre of who I am.

The peace that is in my heart is the culmination of the journey. And I profoundly understand that here, at the end there is not much to say, except that it really is not about the destination but in fact the journey.

What a blessing. Thanks be to God.

Previous day: day 40 arzua-to-monte gozo san marcos

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 33kms (20.5 miles)

10:15pm I am in bed in the hotel at Monte Gozo, just 5 km’s outside of Santiago. The tradition is that the pilgrims would stop here for the night and bathe and freshen up before they made there way to the church in Santiago de Compostella the following day. So that is what we planned to do.

Today was a long and pretty hard day, there were lots of uphills and not a lot of cafes or resting places. I walked most of the day with Judy and the Bobs, our Aussie friends. Mum got a taxi after the 12 km mark. I didn’t plan my food well enough and because there were no open eating places, we just kept pushing on, hoping that the next town would have something, but it didn’t, so I hadn’t eaten by 3pm, and so I had a hypoglycaemic crash, and was unable to stablise myself in time. So in the afternoon while I was walking the last 5km’s I was overshadowed by the effects of the hypo crash. Shakey, weak and nauseous, and headachy, and almost blacking out. It was awful, I felt terrible, and I could not keep up. I fell back and let the group go on ahead of me. I stopped and rested and was delirious. I honestly did not think I would be able to go on, it seemed to never end.

I eventually got up and started to chant my meditation tones, and it gave me the strength to keep going and then I felt the presence of my spiritual teacher John Morton by my side. He put his hand on my back and filled me with energy. I walked the last 2km’s with him and I just wept from gratitude. I really knew that I was supported by God and that he was right there. It was the most blessed experience, and walking these last 800km’s were worth it for this experience. Sublime, significant, and deeply personal.

I crossed the town and mum came and met me which was sweet. I felt shattered. I came to our room, showered and flopped on my bed, filled with exhaustion that was 40 days long. I just lay there and could not move, I felt like I was dying. As I lay there I began to think that I would never ever get up, and thought that this really was the end and that my life was slipping away. There was not one part of me that ever thought I would be able to get up ever again. Time passed perhaps a few hours and I managed to finally get up. Mum had left me which was a welcome relief just so I could process everything. I got dressed and went up to meet the group at sunset. It is tradition to watch the sun set over Santiago, it was breath taking, and we all just hung out acting like a bunch of tourists.

I skyped Dad and he told me he was fasting for the day of atonement and going to the synagogue tomorrow, which I found very moving. And synchronistic with the rite of passage that I myself was going through this night and tomorrow.

We had an okay dinner, but were all mostly too exhausted to keep our eyes open. We then made our way to bed, filled with much gratitude for 40 days of no rain!!! Unheard of, but I just smile knowingly.

I ask for tomorrow to be filled with peace, light, harmony, relaxation, joy and blessings for each person, and me. Thanks be to God.

previous day: day 39 palas de rei-to-arzua
next day: day 41 san marcos-to-santiago de compostella-to finisterre

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 30kms (18.6 miles)

6 pm I am in bed at this lovely ‘pension’ and now just waiting for Luis. It was the best surprise and best thing that could have happened to me. I left my Brazilian friend Luis, about 30 days ago, and I was so sad for it. He walked much faster than me and by my count was way ahead of me. I really loved him and had such fun with him, and often when things were really shit I would think of him and wondered how my Camino would have been if I had kept up with him. When mum came I told her all about him.

So today we planned to have lunch in Melide with our Aussie friends. It is Camino tradition to have the squid dish in Melide, so we trooped in to this restaurant at about noon, and had our fill, except mum and I had tuna salads, we had had just about enough of an experience of Galicia squid last night. So after the meal we made our way back on to the street to find our way onto the path. It was really chaotic and lots and lots of people on the streets, and our group was about 10 people and we were all fragmented. Some had gone to the loo and others had already gone into the street. I was a little confused and had lost everyone, and then I glanced ahead and saw mom in the crowd. She was talking to a unfamiliar man, as I approached I could not believe it, it was LUIS!!! I was so so happy. I don’t think I have ever been so happy in my whole life. I ran up to him, and we hugged and hugged. My mom was totally confused, because one minute this kind stranger was giving her directions and the next minute he and I were locked in a hug that I didn’t want to end. Words really fail to explain the magic of our meeting. To endure what I have and the pain and loss and heightened emotional journey, and then in this little hug it felt like it was all melting away. I was so so happy. And what was even more amazing, as it turns out, was that just out of the blue he had approached mum. He had seen her, and knew she was looking for the path, so just out of kindness gone up to her to show her the way. Huh, amazing…

And of course a million what if’s, what if I had not lagged behind, what if I had not seen mom in that 2 or 3 seconds and he had gone back into the crowd. Of all the people, I never thought I would see him again because I knew he would have been so far ahead of me. We did email each other a few times, and he had been way ahead of me. Anyway, he told me he had decided to go off with a few friends to work on a farm for a few days or something, and hence had caught back up to me.

He told me he had actually been in a cafe this morning where our group had had breakfast. He had heard my voice, and thought it was me, but be the time he managed to see me, our group was moving on, and he could only see my back. He knew all the clothes that I had in my possession, and when he saw my green rain jacket, he dismissed it, because he knew I didn’t own that, not knowing that my other friend had given it to me.

He was walking with other people today, so could not walk with me, so we made a plan to meet tonight. I told him where I was staying, and he said he would come by. It is a bit of a mess, because I have started to call myself Thomasina, because the Spanish people can’t say Tamsin. I don’t know why, I think it is the hard T sound, so it is just easier to go by Thomasina. Luis will come looking for me as Tamsin…I hope it will work out and he will find me.

I just had a little nap, and when I woke up I was feeling a little sad as the completion of the Camino draws near. I haven’t felt like this for a long time. It is not so much that this is a safe haven, or an escape from the world or a feeling of dread and uncertainty about going back into the world. No it is more a sadness for the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my whole life. A true sense of camaraderie and hundreds of thousands of people living the life that we read about in spiritual teachings, and I am blessed enough to be a recipient of that generosity consciousness, and hopefully in some small contributed as well.

9:39pm I am in bed again. I had a little nap and there was a knock at the door. It was Luis!! I was so delighted. We went to the bar downstairs and we chatted. It turned out that he and his friends were actually staying 2 kms, back in the town before Arzua, so he had dumped his stuff and ran here, and was going to return later that night. That he did this really touched me. We talked and talked and caught up on all that we had been doing. I realised how much my Camino had changed now that I was with mum, and how I missed the ‘albergue’ experience,but at the same time, for all the perceived experiences I thought I might have missed out on, I have had the most incredible ones with mum, so who really knows. There is a beauty and Spirit with all things and while I am tempted to shirk my responsibilities, duck off to Portugal with Luis, blow all my money and hide in the Camino for a little while longer. I know that it is time to face my responsibilities, letting go of my smallness and my hiding and my searching and shamelessly claim who I am. In my wholeness and my presence and thank God for my blessings. In two days I get to Santiago. Amazing.

previous day: day 38 portomarin-to-palas de rei
next day: day 40 arzua-to-monte gozo san marcos

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 28kms (17.3 miles)

9:54pm Today was another blessing. I left mum in the hostel at 7am and walked in the mist. It was misty until about 11am and I was walking hard, sweating a lot and the air was icy. It was exhilirating and I was on a high. When the mist finally cleared it was a cloudy day and as close to rain as I have come, though it did not rain. It was so beautiful and the day flew by. I got in at 1:30pm and and had planned to meet mum in the town square at 3pm. She had cabbed it and we planned that she would come in and find a place for us to stay. So I was early. I got a little lunch, and shared a park bench with a cool guy from Arizona, til mum found me. It was cool hearing about his Camino, and how different it was to mine. It had the makings of a teen flick entitled on “road trip on foot”.. with many adventures of lost bags, stolen wallets, begging wire transfers of money from parents, and 55 minute relationships and broken hearts.

The accomodation that mum found us was beautiful. It was above a bar. I came in and had a lovely bath, which eased my bed bug itches immensely. I then had a disturbed nap. I feel really exhausted, like I have just walked 750km.

We had dinner with our Aussie friends, Judy and the 2 Bobs, it was really lovely. Mum and I tried this Galicia specialty of octopus, which was so slimely and disgusting we couldn’t eat it. When we were leaving, we met this really sweet pair. It was a father and son, who were walking together. It was nice to share with them, because of us being a mother and daughter. They were mostly camping and only every couple of days would they stay in a town. Mainly when they needed a shower. It was amazing. They carried all their cooking gear, and were really roughing it.

We got back to the room, and got into our Pj’s then mum remembered that she had left her charger in the other hotel. What had happened was, when she came into the town, she found accomodation and had settled nicely in there, until she pulled back the sheets on the bed and discovered odd black hairs all over the pillow. GROSS!!! So she hastily packed up her things got a refund and found the place that we are in now. As we were about to get into bed she realised the charger had been left behind. I was in my pj’s but we decided it would be OK just to slip out. So we rugged up in our jackets and caught the elevator to the Ground Floor. The elevator opened directly into the bar below. As the doors opened about 12 men standing around the bar turned to look at us. We just burst out laughing and shuffled past in our pajamas. By the looks on their faces they had never seen anything like it. We scurried along two side streets until we got to the previous place. They were just closing up, but they let us in and we ran up, got the charger and dashed back home. Waiting for the lift was an eternity as all the men in the bar bore holes into our backs, while we did our best to stifle our giggles.

Again I am filled with much gratitude for my life and everything in it. Thanks Be to God.

previous page: day 37 sarria-to-portomarin
next page: day 39 palas de rei-to-arzua

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 25kms (15.5 miles)

9:25pm It is as if time is speeding up and the Camino is coming to an end. I have something like 96,5km to go and it is like the sand in an hour glass, the last few grains of sand go so quickly. I am in the bed in the B and B and it is wonderful. I got another bout of Bed Bug bites last night and today was real agony. I basically could not rest my arms to my sides for the skin would become agitated by the bag. It is and was insanely itchy. When I got in to town I was like F*ck it give me every single goddamn spray and lotion and potion on the market, I don’t care what it costs and how heavy it is to carry. I got bug spray for the bed, and anti-itch cream and souped myself up to the nines. I am prepared.

It was the most beautiful beautiful walk today. Mum and I started out did the first 10km’s. It was a light stroll for me which was fine, a little irky going so slow knowing that she would leave me at noon and I would then have so much more to go in the afternoon. But it was Ok just to be with her. Her knee was pretty bad so she did get a cab and I walked for the rest of the afternoon. The morning was really misty and ethereal. I fed a beautiful horse which made my day. I met a dog with one ear, when we gate crashed a gorgeous picturesque hotel to make a pee.

We have entered the state of Galicia, and I believe that it is the poorest state in Spain. It is ironic because the landscape is the most beautiful but the towns are really run down. They have a very distinctive smell and I a so sensitive to smell that it is hard for me to walk through them without retching. They tell me the spray is rotting hay, but it is smells like something dead and dying. It is so distinctive and unidentifiable and like nothing my nasal passages has ever experienced. Yuck.

The afternoon was so so magical as I walked alone in a state of peacefulness and contentment. Not much else is going through my mind. The sweat on the itch was with me but I could not let it take away from savouring this blissful achievement of my state of mind. It only took 37 days…

I really am feeling great. I have also been allowing myself to just be in my body, and to just love it the way that it is. I had this amazing dream yesterday afternoon that I was in love with a woman and I was anxious about that and then in the dream I got this realisation that to have someone to love it doesn’t really matter if they were a man or a woman and I gave myself permission just to love her. And this woman was skinny like Calista Flockhart, and as I hugged her I realised how thin and boney she was, and how that was me. A version of me. And just giving myself permission to love all parts of myself. I am changed.

This town Portomarin is unusual and a little eerie. Some tome many years ago the powers that be decided that they wanted to run a river through the town, so they basically relocated the town up on the hill and flooded the old town. So as you walk into the town you have to cross a vast bridge over the river, and in the river are all of these old shapes sticking above the water line marking the old town. It is eerie. Walking across the bridge I had near death experience number, what is it? number 6… It was crazy windy and a huge truck belted past me, I just had time to hang on the side of the bridge to save myself from blowing being blown away.

After this massive walk of the day the last test was the huge set of steep stairs into the town, all I could think of was that one day in about a year I am going to write and publish this story and I am going to say ” after a massive walk today, to top it all off was this monstrous set of stairs, just to really test you.” As I lie here it seems rather silly now, but it kept running through my head as I trudged up those stairs. Knowing I would write about it one day was all that I could use to keep me going. How vain!

I found my way to mum in the hotel, I scrubbed up, went straight to the Chemist, then to the pub for dinner with our Aussie friends, and now we are in bed. Itchin’

previous day: day 36 fonfria-sarria
next day: day 38 portomarin-to-palas de rei

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 27kms (16.7 miles)

9:27am I left mum to catch the bus this morning at 7am and have walked 8kms this morning. It is great. It is so nice to be back at my old pace. It is amazing how the whole dynamic has started to shift as we get close to the end. The sunrise this morning was completely breathtaking and as I write this I know that it is doubtful whether I will remember it and with that realisation I know that life is about being jazzed and exhilarated in every moment and to live my life in a consciousness of that. Much peace in my heart.

10:29pm A truly beautiful day, and such a beautiful walk and my knee pain has finally completely cleared so I did the 27km with ease and grace and was finished by 3pm. Met mum at the hotel that we agreed on, and she had had a 3 and half hour massage and was very happy. We bought her a knee brace, which was a hilarious experience. I have to share. So we walk into the chemist, and the way they do things in Spain is very different to how things are done in all the other countries I have ever been to in the world. For example it is considered extremely bad form to touch or fondle fruit in a fruit shop or super market. You know how we go up to the avo display and pick up a few avos, inspect a couple until we decide on the one we want. In Spain that is just unheard of, they have gloves provided or the shop keeper will do it for you. Well I guess chemists are a little the same, but we didn’t really know that. So mum and I start going through the boxes of elasticised braces and start trying them on. I knew we were asking for trouble but I plan to just feign ‘ tourist’ if we got in trouble. Anyway, mum find one she likes, and slips it on her knee to see how it fits. It was a little tight but we were ok with it. Next thing the boss man Chemist comes over to us and is so peeved and upset that he cannot speak. He starts to go red in the face, and storms off mumbling in Spanish. Turns out he couldn’t speak English and was summoning his English speaking assistant to come and deal with us. The lady comes over and starts to explain that we cannot do this, and then ever so politely points out that my mother currently has an elbow brace suffocating her knee. Well mum and I were in hysterics at this point, and tried to keep it together as we removed the elbow brace, and allowed the lady to sell us a knee brace, while we suppressed our fits of giggles. We could not stop laughing the whole night.

We had a lovely dinner on the river bank and laughed and laughed.

There is a service on the Camino were taxi drivers will courier your back pack ahead to the albergue or hotel in the next town for a small fee of three or four euro. It is controversial and because it is relatively cheap it is a huge temptation. When I think about it and the potential damage I have done to my hips and knees by walking with this heavy pack for so many hours for so many days, it seems really like only a really stubborn die-hard person would not use this service. But in the spirit of the Camino it is quite frowned upon. With mum’s sore knees we decided to send her bag ahead, and booked accommodation as well. It was just easier that way. So we are slowly settling into a routine. I am looking forward to tomorrow. We only have about 5 days of walking left, divine and a huge completion. I am feeling ready to complete, and out of everything I just feel so calm in my mind. I see how just as I used to have the emotional stories that I would tell myself, that crippled me, I also have the mental stories that keep me in my limitation and I am now conscious and free of them.

I also realised that I want to really pick up my service to MSIA (my spiritual group) as a key component of my life decisions in Sydney and I know as long as I have that as the corner stone of my life I will be fine. Thanks be to God.

Today at lunch, there were a couple of us who had gathered. We all sat on separate tables and minded our own business, but we are like a little family. One of the ladies who had been in our loose group, Ingrid, was suffering really badly with feet trouble. SHe had put in a mammoth effort, shuffling along today, and she made the decision at lunch to get a cab the rest of that days stretch. As she got in the cab we spontaneously applauded her. It was so touching. I am not sure if the applause was for her mammoth effort she had put in or the courage and bravery to call that cab. It was poignant moment, and I was honoured to witness it.

Along the way today I came across this beautiful house and inside it was a British artist. This man, Art Lowe had walked the Camino a few years ago and was so touched by the experience he sold up everything bought this little house and was selling his art. I was touched. We all have these romantic ideas and few of us act on them. My dream is to buy a farm house and make a little bar. I passed the site on about day 5. Took pictures and everything to show my architect! Ha ha…dream on!

previous day: day 35 ruitelan-to-fonfria
next day: day 37 sarria-to-portomarin

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 30kms (18.6 miles)

9:25pm I am in bed in this glorious cool albergue, we got the last 2 beds. My bed is right at the front door, so if anyone comes in or out of this massive room of about 50 beds, I know about. It is full on, but pales in comparison to how grateful I am to have a bed. Mum is pretty slow so we only got in at 6pm today, meaning that we were on the road for the better part of 11 hours. It was a long day, to say the least, but so beautiful. We crossed O’Cebriero and to try to put words on the beauty of this walk is impossible, from the early morning to the evening, each step was a breathtaking vista. It was completely completely spectacular. There was one point were this man was stopped and just staring and staring. He said to me he walked the camino each year purely to stand in this spot. I could completely relate, I didn’t want to move. Just to stand there for the rest of my life. I felt very blessed.

We are also starting to encounter these hilarious British tour groups, with their tiny ruck sacks and designer hiking gear, that are dropped off in the morning, to walk a couple of kilometres and get the obligatory stamps, then they are picked up by luxury air-conditioned mercedes min-buses and whisked away to five star lunches. They go home and tell their friends they walked the Camino, and they have. ANd as I walked with one lady, enjoying her purer than the queens English, and looking at my cheap wind jacket and sweat stained dusty bun bag, I could not even begin to articulate my Camino experience with hers, but it didn’t really matter, we just walked and shared each others company, for what it was.

Mum has decided not to walk at all tomorrow and get a bus directly to Sarria tomorrow, and I am pleased and excited for the walk alone. I miss walking powerfully in the morning when I am strong and rested.

I am really cherishing all the walks. It is very long and I am deeply tired but loving it. I am starting to get a sense of how profound it is, and what I have done. It is also amazing to me how I am so devoid of thought. I tried to think about *Jason* today, and I couldn’t it, it just kept slipping away. Just so much ease. Walking with mum is really interesting, and seeing how I serve another is interesting and does require a whole level of organisation and communication and compromise. I am learning a lot.

I am still meeting lovely people and having a grand time, but it is different, just a real silence growing inside me. A hatching almost. I feel extremely blessed. One awareness I had about going off the path twice and how that is a metaphor for my life. How I go off the path and the track and I lose the focus and get behind, squander my resources and then have the to really baton down the hatches and catch up, like I ran out of time by my misjudgement and I am running out of money, by going off the budget…so I am always on the back pedal. Very great awareness.

The last few hours of today were fairly intense. At our afternoon drink break, we chatted to these 2 lovely girls and they were staying at Fonfria too, where mum and I had planned to stay. While we sat there the rumours start to filter in that the albergue in Fonfria was full. I started to panic a little, knowing that at mums pace we would not get there in time to get a bed, and so every person who over took us and went ahead of us were potentially taking our beds. We quickly came to the decision that I needed to push ahead. It was fairly stressful, and getting a bed was not something I had really worried about much. So far I had always been taken care of, but once you slip into the fear based, worry consciousness, it is hard to move out of it. It is like you are declaring that you don’t trust God and therefore need to fend for yourself and fight it out for yourself. So I walked and walked and did not stop, the 2 girls were ahead of me, and I could tell that they were nervously trying to keep their lead. This awful awful race that you are pretending not to have. And it is not healthy, you need to rest, but I just couldn’t. Eventually the one girl needed to stop so I took the lead and managed to make it into the albergue about 5 minutes before them. It was awful, because I literally got the last 2 beds. If they had got there before me it would have been us, without a bed. It was really crap. They ended up getting mats in the garage, and I was really glad that I managed to get mum a bed. But it is hard because mum is so sensitive so even though she has a bed she gets a little claustrophobic. I have a feeling this is the last albergue we will be staying at.

It was a fab albergue, with a Brazilian hospitelero who I fell in love with and flirted outrageously with. We had a big communal dinner and there was an incredible lady there who was doing the Camino in a wheel chair. I cannot tell you what an inspiration she was. People are amazing.

previous day: day 34 villafranca-to-ruitelan
next day: day 36 fonfria-sarria

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 20kms (12 miles)

6:11pm I am lying in bed in the attic of the albergue. It is very very sweet, and I am exhausted. It is about my 5th day walking with mum and it is really an adjustment. Because of her sore knees she was really slowly, and it would be OK if we didn’t have the deadline, and I felt like we needed to move along, but in fact it is fine. We are having a great time as I practice letting go, letting go, letting go of how I do things, how I did things etc.

I remember in the beginning thinking that I wanted to walk forever, and wondering if I would ever feel complete, and now with less than a week to go I am beginning to feel complete, and the realisation that I probably will not actual feel complete until I am complete, so it is just trusting that.

When I am alone I am mostly having days of just mental blankness, not a lot of thought just presence and being quiet. I kind of love it.

Their were 2 paths out of Villafranca, one along the highway and one that is a ridiculously steep climb for about 30 minutes out of the town, but is the more spectacular view by far. Even though mum was in pain she was up for it. So in the pitch dark and freezing cold we made our way to the path to the high road and set out. It was icy and hard going, but as the dawn broke and we caught glimpses back over the town we had just left, it was incredibly worth it. The photos don’t even come close to doing it justice.

Along the morning path we came across this lovely group of Australians, a sister and brother and her husband. They were really fun and we walked most of the day with them. It was nice, different, but nice. On the top of the ridge we walked through this incredible grove of chestnut trees. It wa a magical fairy place, like no other place in the world, and such a treasure and treat to share it with my mum. (This is the place the Matthias mentioned, from my blog entry from weeks ago, and my mums favourite place. )

So it was pretty hard going with mum, because on one hand she goes slow, and on the other hand we have to get to the town earlyish to get nice beds, it is important that I get mum a good place that she is comfortable with. We have been calling ahead and booking accommodation but sometimes not. You can’t actually book at albergue, only at Bed and Breakfasts… so at around noonish I left her and took off as fast as I could to catch up for lost time, which does kind of work, but I have also been walking for 5 hours already it is not really that fast!

Anyway, I got to this quaint little albergue, which is certainly a treasure of the Camino. I think my friend Esther told me about it, somehow this place is ringing in the back of my mind. The man who runs it has a very strict idea for rules and how things should be done. It was endearing in a Camino kind of way. I was grateful for a toilet and to take my shoes off. I rested a little while, then made my way back to the road, and sat in a little creak dangling my feet in the water, waiting for mum to come along. There is a rule that you never put your feet in water if you have to put them back in your boots that day, because your feet skin gets all soft and sensitive and rife for blisters, so as I sat with my feet in the water it was pure luxury.

I just sat and waited. When mum came she was in a lot of pain, and I would have to say grumpy. We ate little sandwiches of cheese and baguette and then did our laundry and ablutions and are now just resting. It is cold.

9pm We had a communal dinner in the albergue which was really lovely, we all went around the time and shared our precious experiences of our Camino, mum and I were a hit, which was cute. There were a lot of cyclists staying in the albergue with us and they carry a different energy to walkers. They are mostly all very strong athletes, that go hard, and most of the walkers tend to be more diverse and a little more air-headed on the whole, so it was a mixed energy in the room. I had a couple sharing the beds in the bunk above me which was a little weird.

Anyway another precious day that felt like four in one!

previous day: day 33 riego de ambrios-to-villafranca
next day: day 35 ruitelan-to-fonfria

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 36kms (22.3 miles)

9:51pm This is the first time I have written today, and this gives you some idea of the day I have had. Basically I walked 12 hours, pretty much non-stop. Mum and I set off at 7am in the dark with the torch and it was just completely beautiful being awake for the dawn, watching, as the sun rose. We had fresh croissants for breakfast, that were heavenly and then continued on to Ponferrada. By the time we got there mum was cooked, and was walking very slowly. She had a sore knee, and was struggling. It reminded me of my beginning days. Unfortunately we don’t have the luxury of stopping for the night when she gets tired, because we do need to keep to our schedule, so she decided to catch a cab. She agrred to take my bag so I decided to push on and walk another 25km. It was a fairly huge undertaking considering that it was already past noon. Each hour walked after the noon mark feels twice as long as arduous. But walking without my bag was so liberating, and I didn’t feel guilty at all. We do not have phone contact so, after we parted, no matter what I had to keep pushing on. It just never seemed to end.

I am feeling tired and grouchy and I lost my pen which pisses me off.

It was nice to walk without my bag, and some of the landscape was just breathtaking. At one point I was walking through vineyards, and had a deep thought that this is so beautiful I wish that someone could share this with me. And just then a whole group of boisterous cyclists came around the bend and I shared it with them , evem though they could barely understand me. It was cute.

I walked through a wide valley bed and it was a little scary as I looked to the left I could see the hills I had just walked through from Riego de ambrios and then looked to the right and saw the hills I was yet to climb to Villafranca. I got cool pics.

It was fairly hard going becuase I didn’t really think I could stop, because I was afraid I would not get there before nightfall. So I hardly rested. Stopping just for short little drink stops and on again. In one little town, when I thought I could not go on and that the road would never end. I stopped and had a lemon squash with this man. He had a shop in his converted garage. I just drank and he tried to offer me dried meat, but I declined.

For the last two hours I was almost salivating in my anticipation of coming into Villafranca, and could not recall when last I has so looked forward to the arrival. I thought of all the towns I had entered at the end of a long day of walking, but nothing could have prepared me for this. As I approached all I saw was this deep deep ravine between where I was and where the town was. I was so disheartened, I could barely walk another step. I had no idea how I would get across. WIth my tired and achey legs I just could not get my head around how this town, of all the towns, had to be the steepest town. I could not believe people could live here. Each road was either an 80 degree angle up, or 75 degree angle down! I began with a steep set of stairs down into the ravine, and crossing to a side street that was a steep up. Mum and I had planned to meet in the town square, so I tried to be really direct with getting there, to avoid any more ups or downs, than were not entirely necessary. It was now pushing 8pm. I was tired and hungry.

I eventually got there, and she was just finishing dinner and having a fine old time. I was grouchy. I could not get served, so we moved to another restaurant, which took forever, almost skipped dinner completely in my grouchiness, and we went to the albergue. WHich of course was up a steep set of stairs. So here I am, in bed and OK. Phew! A massively rewarding day, I pushed to the limits and my body was strong.

previous day: day 32 foncebaden-to-riego de ambrios
next day: day 34 villafranca-to-ruitelan

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FOREWORD: I completed the El Camino de Santiago – an 800km spiritual pilgrimage across Spain in late Summer of 2009. I journalled and photographed my trip, and as a final completion I agreed to publish my journal and pictures a year to the day of my journey.

STATS: Walked 22kms (13 miles)

7:44am Slept at Foncebaddon in a room with 18 people with no open windows. It was so cold that the people near the windows could not have them open, and I was so sardined in that I couldn’t even get up to open the door to the room. I woke up in the night and really felt like I couldn’t breathe, but again just moved into acceptance and knowing that it was unlikely that I would actually die. It wa a fitful night. I am reading a book called The Quiet Girl about this little girl who is very close to God. She came to me and asked me if I had ever seen a mermaid.

3:56pm Mum and I are in a ‘pension’ (this is like a Bed and Breakfast) in Riego de Ambrios. Mum wanted to stay somewhere nice. It is about 20 EURO a night, her shout, and I was happy to oblige. It is so quiet here with a beautiful view of the mountain range. It has been a spectacular walk today, truly one of the best. When I came to walk the Camino I came to walk the Camino, and the scenery was reallly not really much of factor in that, and so to be walking in these lovely beautiful places is a blessing.

It was freezing and I was so grateful for the jacket that Sergio gave me. When we left this morning just before 8am it was deep fog and freezing. We climbed over the highest peak of the walk today. We visited the Iron Cross, which is a famed historic spot on the walk, where you go and ‘leave’ something, or let go of something. So there are all of these trinkets and tokens with deep significance to people. I knew about this place so I specifically took a little stone and have been carrying it with me since I left LA. The stone is engraved with the sanskrit symbol of MSIA (my spiritual group). It felt profound and what it signified for me was a choosing to let go all of my identification with all the things that are not my soul, including the conditions that I choose in the world. So I let go of all of my allegiances and alliances and all the things and ways that I have chosen to align and identify with. It was very significant and profound.

We then came across this little place that is run by a small group who apparently believe they are a part of the knights templars. The history is that the knights templars protected the pilgrims. They would hide in the mountains and watch over the pilgrims and if there was a threat to their safety they would swoop in and save the day. Anyway, this little group offered warm tea, and a little outdoor bonfire. It was quaint (and freezing.) We couldn’t stop for too long because it was so cold.

I am finding myself a little stressed to complete the walk to Santiago. From all of that discussion about what constitutes ” finishing the walk” and what is cheating etc…it has a become very clear to me that I want to walk the entire distance. I thought I had planned it well, but I did not anticipate that mum would be slow so I am not sure if I have enough time. I am needing to walk about 27km per day to finish, and that will only leave 2 daus to get to Finisterre. (Finsiterre is a little beach side town, and is the most Northerly point of Europe. It was thought to be the ‘end of the earth” until America was discovered… Anyway, it was tradition for the pilgrims, once they arrived in Santiago, tto continue on to Finisterre, cleanse in the ocean and burn their clothes. And mum and I wantedto do this. Well, travel to Finisterre that is, not sure about the burn clothes thing!)

I am very cold and tired. I also was reflecting on how I have left the path twice and therefore needed to connect and make friends with more people. It is interesting.

9:32pm I am in bed. Mum and I had a lovely dinner (and baileys) and while working home we saw the most incredible display of sun rays penetrating the grey clouds. It is difficult to describe and not easy to photograph although I did my best. It was completely breathtaking, and one of the highlights of this trip.
We came home and packed for tomorrows journey. I have about 10-11 days before I fly home and suddenly I feel like the pressure is on to get to Santiago. I am looking like really increasing my Km’s, maybe do 36km tomorrow. I do want to walk all the way. I feel very contented. I am not meeting as many people but enjoying my time with mum and letting it all unfold. Thanks be to God.

previous day: day 31 murias de rechivaldo-to-foncebaden
next day: day 33 riego de ambrios-to-villafranca

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